Eating disorder recovery & unmet childhood needs with Harriet Frew

Join me and Harriet Frew as we chat about how unmet childhood needs contribute to the development of eating disorders and how to overcome this.

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How to Overcome Not Feeling Good Enough and Heal from Eating Disorders

Are you struggling with feelings of not being good enough and battling with an eating disorder? It’s time to take control of your life and embark on a healing journey. In this how-to post, we will guide you through the specific steps to overcome the deep-rooted issues that contribute to these challenges. Let’s get started!

Step 1: Recognize and Acknowledge Childhood Influences

Reflect on your childhood experiences and the expectations placed upon you by your family, school, and society. Understand that feeling not good enough often stems from childhood, where you may have learned that you need to meet certain conditions to be loved and accepted.

Step 2: Understand the Impact of Comparison

Recognize that comparison is a natural human tendency rooted in the need for acceptance within a tribe. However, society reinforces the message of not being good enough through advertising and media. Identify how these influences have affected your perception of self-worth.

Step 3: Identify Fixations and Compensatory Behaviors

Take inventory of the aspects of yourself that you fixate on to compensate for feeling not good enough. It could be academic achievements, appearance, or other areas where you seek validation. Acknowledge that these fixations are attempts to gain acceptance and worthiness.

Step 4: Explore Traumas and Hidden Emotional Wounds

Consider the possibility that you may have unrecognized traumas that contribute to your struggles with not feeling good enough and the development of your eating disorder. Dig deep into your personal experiences and connect the dots between your traumas and current behaviors.

Step 5: Embrace Connection and Authenticity

Recognize that humans deeply crave connection and authenticity from childhood. If you did not feel connected to your caregivers as your authentic self, you may have learned to put on masks and people-please to meet your needs. Understand that connection can turn into attachment when it lacks authenticity.

Step 6: Break the Cycle of Unhealthy Patterns

Acknowledge that patterns and behaviors from your childhood can be repeated in future generations until the cycle is broken. Take responsibility for changing these patterns by actively working on personal growth and healing.

Step 7: Allow Yourself to Feel and Express Anger

Understand that emotions like anger may have been suppressed or ridiculed during your childhood. Learn to acknowledge and express your anger in healthy ways, as it can be empowering and create change when felt and channeled appropriately.

Step 8: Seek Professional Help and Support

Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in eating disorders. Their guidance and support can provide valuable insights and tools for your healing journey. Therapy can help you explore and process your emotions, traumas, and self-worth.

Step 9: Take Responsibility for Your Recovery

Realize that recovery is a choice and requires determination and commitment. Take ownership of your journey and be at cause in your own life. Believe in yourself and your ability to recover, despite feelings of not being good enough or lovable.

Step 10: Challenge Societal Beauty Standards and Develop Self-Compassion

Challenge the idea that weight loss equals happiness or success. Embrace self-compassion and self-acceptance, focusing on the unique qualities that make you who you are. Let go of societal standards and prioritize your own well-being and inner happiness.

Step 11: Create a Positive Social Media Environment

Become critical of media messages and images that promote unrealistic beauty standards. Unfollow accounts that trigger negative body image or feelings of not being good enough. Seek out body-positive influencers and accounts that promote self-acceptance, diversity, and authentic connection.

Step 12: Embark on Personal Development and Self-Awareness

Engage in personal development work to continue growing and maintaining your recovery. Cultivate self-awareness, explore your values, and align your life with what truly matters to you. Practice self-care and surround yourself with a supportive community.

Step 13: Reparent and Connect with Your Inner Child

Embrace the process of reparenting and connecting with your inner child. Provide yourself with the love, acceptance, and validation that may have been lacking in your earlier years. Nurture your inner child, heal past wounds, and celebrate your unique journey.

Remember, the road to recovery is not linear, and triggers may arise even after significant progress. Be patient and kind to yourself throughout the process. With determination, professional support, and a commitment to self-growth, you can overcome the feeling of not being good enough and heal from your eating disorder. You deserve a life filled with love, acceptance, and authenticity.


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