“Loving my body is a mindset I create for myself”
Just read that again…
Imagine for a moment what it would feel like if you could genuinely be fully accepting of how you look right now. In this moment. Without needing to lose weight, tone up, get smaller, change your shape, get your boobs or nose done first… Just you, exactly how you are right now…
What a radical thing to imagine!
I’m here to tell you that this is possible for you!!! I know that your mind is most likely arguing back right now telling me all the reasons why this won’t be possible for you. 😉
I get it. I’ve been there. In fact, I use to shower in the dark so I didn’t have to catch a glimpse of my body. I use to avoid mirrors at all costs and if I saw myself in one when I wasn’t ‘prepared’ I would have an actual break down and it would ruin my whole week. I dreaded anyone asking me to go out because I never had anything that fit me that I felt good in. And if my partner would have surprised me with a sun holiday without having the opportunity to starve myself for at least a month beforehand, there’s absolutely not a chance in hell I would have gone…🤯 I just couldn’t face my body in a bikini, I would rather have watched paint dry, or eaten celery sticks for a week.
So why am telling you all of this?
So that you can understand where I’ve come from and know that this is 100% possible for you too! 🙌🏽
At the moment, your mind won’t be able to fathom you fully accepting your body as it is now… but the gap between where you are now and where you want to be is inner work, mindset training and action!
So I’m going to share with you 3 action steps to do, starting from today, that will help you to start accepting and loving that miraculous beautiful body of yours.
Question time first…
Take a moment to journal out these questions before you get started.
- Why do you think you feel the way you do about your body?
- Do you think others see your body the way you see it yourself?
- What is your goal with how you feel in and towards your body? Why?
- If you weren’t spending so much hating your body, what else would you be doing?
#1 – Exposure Therapy
Spend time naked. Work out naked. Do the cleaning naked. Do naked yoga. Walk around the house naked. Basically, do everything as much as you can naked! Obviously, make it work for you and your household… I’m sure your kids won’t love it… 🤣 but I’m sure your partner will 😈.
This will feel uncomfortable at first. Really uncomfortable. How many times do you get out the shower and quickly hide your body with the towel because God forbid you or anyone else sees your naked body?
But spending time with yourself naked will absolutely help you to be more comfortable in your body. Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.
The BEST most transformative exposure therapy to do is mirror work.
Spend time with yourself in front of a full-length mirror (if possible) naked, on a daily basis. It’s important to make this into a ritual so that you feel as comfortable as possible – because I know the thought of doing this scares the shit out of some of you. Dim the lights (if you’re posh and have dimming light switches! 😝) or/and light candles. Put on some soft music that makes you feel good. Get a soft blanket or your duvet if you prefer to sit down and get yourself in front of that mirror.
Sit or stand and just be ok with looking, to begin with. close your eyes with your hand on your heart and take some soft deep breathes. And then begin:
- Start by looking into your own eyes. Right into them. Stare at yourself. Say “I love you” out loud. Notice how that feels. Let the tears come.
2. Next, go through your entire body from your head to your toes, apologizing to each part for all the times you’ve rejected it. Send it some love. Tell each part why you are grateful for it.
E.g… I’m sorry arms for always hiding you away under long sleeves because I’m embarrassed by you. I am grateful for you, arms because you allow me to hug my loved ones. I love you.
When you notice your inner bitch saying mean things to your body, separate yourself from her. You can watch her chattering away in the background if she doesn’t disappear knowing that at this moment, you are love.
3. Imagine that you have put a pair of glasses on that only allow you to see through the eyes of love. So you can’t help but look for love when you look at your body. I know that sounds a bit strange but try it… LOOK FOR the beauty in your body and you will find it. You find whatever it is you look for. Appreciate your curves and the lumps and the bumps and the shapes. Your body is a force of nature. It’s beautiful just because it’s alive. Look for that beauty. Allow diet and beauty culture that you compare yourself to, to leave you. Just for a moment whilst you’re spending this sacred time with yourself. Notice how you can feel love and acceptance towards your body, just for a short moment.
Acceptance is only ever a thought away.
Do you choose to accept or do you choose to continue fighting and resisting against yourself?
#2 – Write your body a letter and let her write back
This exercise can be so healing. Make time to do this. You’ll need around an hour. Don’t rush it. I encourage you to write with pen and paper for this exercise instead of typing it out.
- Blame your body for everything you’re annoyed at her for. Get angry if you need to. Write down everything you wish she was. How you feel about her not looking the way you want her to. Maybe your body is injured or sick or disabled. How does that make you feel? Let it all out.
2. Do a short (or long) meditation or listen to relaxing music for at least 15 minutes.
3. Then let your body write back. What has she got to say to your previous letter of anger or blame? What does she need to tell you? How does she (your body) feel? What would she like from you?
4. Reflect on her answer.
#3 – Look at women your size or bigger on social media every damn day!
For all of you “non-believers” out there… this is actually scientifically proven to help with body image.
We need to “unlearn” everything that we have been conditioned to think and believe about our bodies.
Go and seek out women your size or bigger on the internet or social media and look at these images for at least 10 minutes every day. Seeing women similar to your shape and size being confident and carefree for the whole world to see is SO healing.
They are giving you permission to be yourself. You don’t need the permission of course, but it really is almost like these women are giving you that permission to go and be yourself and be happy about it!
I also encourage you to unfollow anyone who makes you feel “not good enough”. AND also follow women that are bigger than you that make you feel uncomfortable because of their size.
Trust me on all of this, it does wonders to our own body image. Thankfully our beauty industry is getting more and more body positive and we are seeing models with cellulite and stretch marks which is AMAZINGGGGG! 👏🏽 But we still have a looong way to go.
So get educating yourself and “un-brain-washing” yourself with the airbrushed models and porn stars that men and women are conditioned to lust after.
These 3 action steps will really help you to start accepting your body if you actually practice them. Body acceptance takes time and effort but I promise you it is so so worth it. It’s like anything, if you put in the reps, you strengthen the muscle.
Self-acceptance is a muscle you have to train and use it in order to strengthen it!
Get help from a professional (hi!) if you need support on this journey. The journey to body acceptance is a long and rocky one, but don’t let that put you off taking that first step because body freedom is indescribably liberating and free!
And of course, what other choice do you have…
If you would like help on this journey, get in touch. I have many different ways that you can work with me to get you where you want to be!
With love always,
Victoria x 💖