I’m talking self-love baby! And when I first started my journey to end binge eating, I never thought that self-love (along with the ONLY thing that works to end binge eating and the guilt around food) would be the answer to all of my problems! So let me ask you this…
Do you know how to love yourself unconditionally?
It’s ok if you don’t or if you weren’t taught how- many of us weren’t. And because of that, we’ve put external validation and achievement as ways to receive love. Learning to love ourselves fully and unconditionally opens up our journey to self-healing.
Self-love is a verb- it’s not something you have or get and then you’ve got it for good, it’s something you DO.
It’s what we do for ourselves on a daily basis. Positive self-discipline is the highest place for self-love. The foundation of what we believe is possible for us, how far we can go, and how much we are willing to believe in ourselves. When self-love is the foundation of who we are, there’s no room for negative self-talk, we embrace our shadow and our light, and we make space for healing and growing. The process of healing is to come back to the realization that you are already whole, perfect and complete. You can not grow if you are hating who you currently are.
Falling in love with the journey
What does this even mean? You have arrived when arrival is no longer the goal. Once you are able to slow down, not be in such a rush all the time, then you have finally gotten to the best part of the journey. Here are some things you can ask yourself:
- where are you in such a rush to get to?
- What is that feeling you are chasing?
- Why can’t you give it to yourself now?
- Why cant you be proud of the person you are today?
If you struggle with this, ask your inner child why is she clinging so tightly to “getting there.” Ask her why ‘now’ isn’t acceptable or ‘good enough’.
My Inner child: I don’t want to be let down.
The best version of me: Don’t worry, I won’t let you down
Connecting your inner child and the best version of you
Connecting with your inner child and the best version of you requires open space and stillness. Find things that make you genuinely happy. Here’s a few of mine:
- Reading/listening to audiobooks
- Sitting in nature and just watching, listening and being at one with it – because we are nature too
- Getting out of my head and into my heart (connecting with my divine feminine and who I really am) – meditation and stillness helps with this but also dancing and slef-pleasure.
What is your inner child?
Your inner child is the part in your psyche that still retains its innocence, creativity, awe, and wonder toward life. Quite literally, your inner child is the child that lives within you – within your psyche that is. It is important that we stay connected with this sensitive part of ourselves. When we are connected to our inner child, we feel excited, invigorated, and inspired by life. When we are disconnected, we feel lethargic, bored, unhappy, and empty.
Increasing your Confidence
By connecting with your inner child and making time for the things that make you happy increases your confidence. This is because doing these things increase your self-worth which directly impacts your self-esteem. Your confidence comes from the inside out, not from an inspiring IG quote. The best wisdom and guidance you can get is from yourself.
Self-esteem is the confidence a person has about their competence, their belief about their achievements in the world.
Self-worth is how you feel about your innermost self, the value you place on your life.
An easy way to remember the distinction is by thinking about self-esteem as the outside you, the person you are in the world, your capabilities, whereas self-worth is the inside you, your core self, or what I refer to as your SOUL SELF.
4 ways to create unconditional self-love for yourself:
- Give yourself the chance to use time on hobbies. Downtime is not a waste of time which ultimately means, “I am not a waste of time.”
- Increase your self-care time. On self-care practices that don’t cost money and are the hardest to give yourself. This can look like- rest days off from the gym and doing the things you feel like you don’t deserve unless you do x. But do them anyway! You Do deserve it!
- Cultivate positive self-discipline. This is keeping the promises you make to yourself. Positive self-discipline is a skill to practice. Discipline around what foods you’re telling yourself you’re not allowed to eat does not come under positive self-discipline. But promising yourself that you will eat more veggies and whole foods for example does.
- Connect and heal your inner child- through meditation, journaling and self-exploration. Ask yourself what do you get to unlearn? What is the inner child within you rebelling against? What acknowledgement does she need?
If this resonated with you please share this post with another sister who needs to hear this message.
If you would like personalized one to one help with your own self-love journey I would be honoured to help you. I offer a free coaching call where we come up with a plan to help you achieve your goals, whether that’s with me or not. I look forward to meeting you.