The 4 stages of body image work

The problem isn’t that you’re binge eating, it’s that you’re restricting.

Why are you restricting?

Because you don’t like your body and want to be thinner.

Why do you want to be thinner?

For X number of reasons most likely mainly due to wanting to be seen as attractive, be liked and lusted after, to fit in, to receive more validation, ultimately to be more LOVED…

You want to be thinner because you don’t love YOU. You don’t think you’re enough just being you, your quirks and all…

But what if you were already enough exactly as you are NOW?

What if you looked in the mirror and loved the reflection looking back at you? Not necessarily aesthetically but you were completely utterly in love with YOU? ALL of you… and saw your body as a piece of art created by nature itself… because that’s what you ARE my love, you just might not be able to see it… yet

Here are the 4 stages of body image work that I went through and that I take my clients through. If at any point when you’re listening, it feels out of reach for you, don’t worry. This is a process, a journey and you will get there if you just keep going and reach out for support.

Below are the notes I wrote for myself for recording this episode. I’ve left them here in case you wanted to reflect back on some points I talk about in the podcast, but they won’t make sense by themselves unless you listen first!

1. Body acceptance

Body neutrality

It is what it is – meeting life on life’s terms

Acceptance is letting go of resistance – letting go of fighting reality

Colour of the sky .. blue, grey? Do you accept that? or do you try to use your willpower to change it?!

Dieting is false control – it’s like building, dismantling and then rebuilding a table over and over again… have you had enough yet?

2. Body appreciation


Being IN your body 

What your body does for you and what it allows you to experience

Always someone worse off

3. Unconditional love

The way you’d love a child or a pet

When you see photos, maybe you might have a judgment about your appearance but there’s an underlying feeling of ‘ah but that’s me and my body, that makes me, me. I love me.’

Knowing/believing that you are more than the appearance of your body

Your body is the least interesting thing about you

Loving yourself and your body through life as it changes

Noticing fatphobic self-judgments but then choosing to send love to yourself and your body anyway but love isn’t conditional

4.Body positivity

Celebrating the way your body and other bodies look

Glass and 200ml water – it just is. 200ml water

How can you see the glass as half full, not half empty?

You can add tasty things to the water, make the glass look pretty etc but there is still 200ml in the glass

What feels expansive and what feels contractive? The truth feels expansive.

Self-worth & body image

If your self-worth is wrapped up in your body image then you’ll never feel worthy or truly happy, because you can’t control your body AND you can’t control what others think about you and your body regardless of what you look like.

It’s ultimately a choice… do you choose to allow your self-worth to be based on your body image and what others think of you?

Or do you choose to KNOW that you’re worthy anyway and live your best life in the body you have today, every day?

Lots of layers to this for each individual… inner child healing, trauma release, energetics alongside mindset.

Reach out to me if you’d like support with your own journey to body love.


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When I first heard about the concept of listening to your body and relying on it to tell you what and how much to eat,
I’ve thoroughly enjoyed writing this episode for you my loves! I share my personal experience of my journey to body love. My clients often go Welcome to another special edition of my Mini Client Interview Series! I have Cally with me today who is my previous client and self-love

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