Do you hate your body?
Do you dread looking in the mirror or do you spend ages in front of the mirror picking yourself apart every day?
Or maybe you switch between the two? I use to waste so much time zooming in on all the things I didn’t like about my body, poking, squeezing. grabbing, sighing…hating! Wishing I looked different. Wishing I could have legs like Becky at the gym. Wishing I could have arms like Amy, a tummy like Sarah and an ass like Beyonce! Phew, it was exhausting!
Maybe you can relate? If so, do you want to break free from this self-destructive pattern of body hate? Then keep reading my friend because as a professional body image coach I can help you.
We attract what we believe about ourselves…
I’m sorry to say but all of that focus your giving towards your body’s ‘flaws’ is only causing you to find even more negative things about your body. It goes in a circle:
- You focus on everything you don’t like about yourself in the mirror.
- Think negative things about your body – feel disheartened, ashamed.
- Go into your day with low body confidence.
- See everything as an attack toward your body. E.g. Someone told you that you look well which you decide means that they must be calling you fat.
- Continue to find ‘proof’ that how you feel about your body is the truth, that you are flawed and everyone else thinks so too.
I was in this pattern for YEARS. AND IT SUCKED!
But I actually DO hate the way my body looks!
I feel you girl!! I use to think that there was NO WAY that I could like my body unless I was a UK size 8-10. But it was more than just the size, I had to have no cellulite, abs AND tanned skin…! I set such high expectations for myself and I actually did reach those expectations numerous times during my diet-binge cycle lifestyle. The problem with that was that I had a warped belief that unless I was in my idea of a perfect body then I had ‘let myself go’! So the diet binge cycle continued and my goal was always the same…
“To reach my ideal body weight but then keep it forever!”
But of course, I couldn’t ‘keep it’ because my body was constantly fighting against all my weight loss attempts… my body didn’t want to be at the size that I so desperately wanted it to be!
So if you feel like I used to and you’re so done with all the diets and body hate I can be your body image coach! If you just wish you could like your body as it is now, but you haven’t the slightest clue how to, I’m your girl!
How to like your body
Let’s get real. You can’t go from body hate to body love overnight, nor should you want to. Because then you miss out on all of the beautiful relationship building between you and your body.
That’s right, I’m talking about you and your body entering into a relationship together… think I’m a tad crazy and wondering why you’re reading my page right now? I still encourage you to keep reading because what you’ve been doing all these years hasn’t worked has it…?
Think of it this way… if you had someone who:
- Took care of you every day, doing all they could to keep you alive every second of the day and night
- Warned you when something wasn’t quite right
- Guided you through tough choices
- Enabled you to walk, run, play, hug your loved ones, eat delicious foods.
- And A LOT more…
Would you love that person? Or would you say to them “I’ll only love you if you have abs or can fit into __ size jeans!”? I’m counting on the fact that you’ve guessed that the above ‘person’ is your body…? I’m also counting on the hope that you wouldn’t say that to them either!
I’m going to give you 4 ways to start practising body acceptance. (I have soooo many more up my sleeve). If you commit to these you will see a remarkable difference in how you feel towards your body:
1.Stop comparing yourself to others. If you compare, you despair. Comparisons are NEVER EVER helpful in any area of your life, whether it be personal or professional. You are unique. I know it is easier said than done and it is so natural for women to compare to other women but think about how destroying it is and instead of being constructive, it brings you down and makes you feel even worse. Most of the time the women you’re comparing yourself to don’t even look like themselves either!
2. I realised that I was seeing myself incorrectly. Looking back to the above body hate cycle, however you perceive yourself is how you think others will perceive you.
Your perception can either be your power or your prison.
If you continue to judge yourself you will decide that others will also be judging you in the same way. That’s not true! We go into this in-depth during my body image coaching but what YOU see when you look in the mirror is not what OTHERS see. (Who cares what others think anyway!) It’s helpful to acknowledge that you don’t see yourself as you truly are and to imagine looking at yourself through the eyes of love. Imagine that you have magical glasses and when you put them on all you can see is a lovers point of view. It won’t miraculously change your perception of yourself overnight but if you keep playing with this idea, you will start to see your ‘flaws’ as ‘not that bad after all.’
3. Change how you speak to yourself. If you speak to yourself like shit, you’re going to feel like shit! Der! So why do we do it all the time? Again, we go into this in-depth in my body image coach coaching program, but basically, we think that if we scold ourselves in an attempt to ‘motivate’ us to ‘do better’ that it will get us where we want to be. IT DOESN’T. Speaking to yourself with compassion and gently encouraging yourself DOES! Taking the time to understand yourself and why you do the things you do (ooooh, we’re back into the whole building a relationship with yourself thing!) enables you to see yourself as you would see a loved one. The way you speak to yourself in every way about anything, not just body image has a huge effect on how you feel and how you show up each day. Let’s stick with body image…
When the negative thought pops, give yourself a reminder. Stop giving negative thoughts such a big power.
Here is how it works. With a little practice, it becomes kind of a game.
You tell yourself: I hate my body
SWAP: My body is fine thank you, I appreciate my body for everything it does for me and enables me to do.
You tell yourself: My body isn’t good enough.
SWAP: I am good enough, everyone has a different body – like we’re supposed to. It’s only the media that makes us think differently. I am ME and that’s my superpower. I embrace who I am!
It is almost like 2 contradictory voices talking to you, the body hate one and the heart one. Let the heart voice speak louder.
4. Swap your focus from weight to health and how you want to feel. This is a biggie! It’s only when you stop controlling the food that foods stop controlling you. Focus your attention on health, not weight loss. Health is a positive goal, weight loss is a negative goal. Health focuses on adding in the good foods, weight loss focuses on restriction. We all know that the body hates food rules. When you’re taking care of your body the best way you can by making choices with the goal of feeling good, not by trying to manipulate your body size, you will start to feel better connected to your body.
^ I hope you will practice these because they will help. The key is to not only read them but to actually DO them! As I said, I have so many more ways to change your perception of your body so that you wake up happy in your body every damn day! It’s possible I promise you. If I can do it, so can you!
I’m not a body image coach who only gives you affirmations to say to yourself in the mirror that you don’t even remotely believe. Nor do I make false promises that you’ll love the shit out of your body in __ weeks time if you hire me as your coach! What I do promise is that you WILL learn how to accept your body for the miracle that she is and you will no longer be putting your life on hold until you lose 10-20 lbs (again)! You’ll be free from your body prison and over time you’ll love her unconditionally.
Sound good? Want more? Explore the different ways you can work with me. I promise you’ll never look back!