Conversation style Q&A
That magic question, how do I lose weight?…By listening to your body; you will find and maintain your healthiest natural weight. Your body already has all the wisdom it needs to be its natural weight. Your body will tell you what it is she wants to eat and when. The struggle begins when we lose connection with ourselves through dieting and following external sources to tell us what and how to eat.
This is ok! When you work with me, you will see why I’m not specifically an Intuitive Eating Coach. Religiously attempting to only eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re satisfied can easily be turned into a diet. I like to call it the hunger and fullness diet. If you put yourself on this, then intuitive eating will backfire.
Yeah, I feel that. This is where most people struggle, especially if you’re so use to restricting yourself and then binging. It’s a natural response from your body to keep eating when it thinks you’re going to deprive it again. This will come with time when your body knows that you’re not going to restrict again. It will be natural and easy for you to stop when you’ve learnt how to stop dieting physically and mentally.
There’s not much use giving up dieting unless you can learn to be ok with what you’re eating, whatever that may look like.
Dieting is not an action, it’s a state of mind.
So if you’ve given up dieting, yet your judging the shit out of yourself when your eating pizza, wondering why you don’t feel all happy and liberated yet, it’s because you are not mentally allowing the pizza. You’re allowing the physical act (eating the thing) but you’re not mentally allowing it (constantly thinking “this can’t be ok”).
Change your thinking – change your relationship to food.
We go through this in-depth in my coaching programs.
It will help you learn how to feel normal around food and stop binge eating. It will show you how to get your life back from food anxiety and food obsession. It will end your diet binge cycle for good. When you have mastered that part, you will learn how to make more nutritious food choices in order to feel healthy and vibrant without dieting!
That’s because you haven’t yet learnt how to let go of dieting mentality. In my course, there isn’t a wagon to fall off! There are 5 steps you must first master in order to give up dieting. After that, there are only 2 steps to take in order to make nutritious choices easily.
Maybe… at first. See Stage 2 of the stages of giving up dieting. Before you run off, because this isn’t what you signed up for, please know that after Stage 2, your weight will start to normalize and, if you were carrying extra weight before that’s not natural for your body, you’ll naturally lose weight as your body finds balance.
Most people who have been restricting their diet for years (even decades) HAVE to go through the rebellion binge phase (stage 2 of giving up dieting). Everryyooneee does, including me. And yes, I gained weight, and yes I lost most of that weight. But the goal of holistic wellness and finding sanity around food is not to lose weight! It’s to learn how to feel normal around food and accept your body first and foremost. But since everyone gets panicked about weight gain, I will share the way to reduce the magnitude of the rebellion binges.
- By allowing ALL FOODS physically and mentally. The more we ‘feel bad’ for eating a specific food; the more we will eat that specific food! When you get your head around that and truly allow all foods no matter what, that’s when you will literally forget you had some chocolate in your bag!
- By practicing feeling your feelings relentlessly. All the time. All day every day. You can even do this when you AREN’T about to binge. In fact, emotional check-in’s like that are a great way to 1) develop emotional awareness, 2) continue developing emotional tolerance, and 3) prepare for the heavy onslaught of emotions that bubble up after you stop dieting and begin to feel your feelings. Because, public service announcement: getting yourself to stop binge eating and achieve your natural weight probably won’t feel the way you want it to feel.
You’re here because you’re tired of gaining and losing the same weight over and over again. You’re here to learn how to feel normal around food by finally doing something so radically different (giving up dieting) that it just might work.
You eat whatever your body wants to eat by practicing the intuitive eating guidelines. But sometimes you will eat when you’re not hungry. AND THAT’S OK too! This is why it’s so important to get supported through this process by a professional (I have my hand raised right now!) because it can be overwhelming and scary as shit to do it on your own.
If you want it, eat it!
Yes, I am. Especially during the stage 2 rebellion binges. If it’s what your body wants, EAT IT.
Hey, it’ll be okay. Whenever you panic, just go back to the eating guidelines: eat exactly what appeals to you when you’re hungry, stop when you’re satisfied – without turning this into a set of rules that must be followed religiously… aka the hunger and fullness diet. Practice what you will learn about emotional allowance and emotion eating and about how your body feels. I’m not pretending this is going to be easy, everything worthwhile in this life takes some amount of discomfort, I AM telling you it’s going to be worth it!
Look, I hear you. And honestly, this isn’t for everyone. If your only goal in all of this is to lose weight, not to learn how to accept yourself and be happy in any body size (even if you have no idea how to yet), then you might not be ready. You have to be really fed up with failing at diets and sick and tired of starting again every monday before you can throw in the towel. And I’m here when you’re ready!
Just remember that diets don’t work and the best way to gain weight is to diet!
When you’re ready to get your life back, find your natural healthiest weight, make nutritious food choices without trying hard BUT ARE WILLING TO GO THROUGH THE NECESSARY PROCESS TO GET THERE, I’m waiting for you with open arms.
Because if you follow all of the steps I teach you, you’ll finally be free from food obsession. You’ll stop thinking about food all day. You’ll stop letting your weight dictate your mood. One day, you’ll get hungry, and it’ll be the first time all day that you’ve thought about food! This will free up so much mental energy for getting back to LIFE.
Oh, and as you continue on this journey, you might lose weight. But it’ll just be the cherry on top because you will learn that it doesn’t really matter anyway! All you’ve ever wanted, deep down, was to feel good about your body and stop binge eating. And because you will have worked on your psychology, you recognize that “getting skinny” won’t solve your problems or bring the happiness you thought it would.
And now that you’ve got your head straight, you’re in full BAD ASS GET SH*T DONE MODE.
You’ll get to a point where someone can put a plate of cookies and cakes and sweets in front of you and you won’t even want it. Or you’ll have one bite and stop. This type of self control becomes possible because, at this point, it’s not even self control! It’s just you being in sync with yourself.
If your body doesn’t want sweets, you won’t give it sweets. And after the rebellion binges, you’ll probably find that it doesn’t.
There is so much LIFE available to you outside of food obsession. It takes grit to get through the tough spots – and there will be times where you backslide (like I have) – but if you keep going, you will get there.
I agree that it’s scary. It terrified the hell out of me, too. But hey, you don’t have to do it alone. If my blogs (which contain links to my youtube and podcast) aren’t enough to get you through, you can always reach me by email (firstname.lastname@example.org) to ask questions or express concerns.
Pretty much, email me when you’re in panic mode. I got you.
Or if you prefer a structured step by step program where you get so much more including personalised support explore if 1:1 coaching is right for you.
*deep breath in* *big sigh out*
Ok. I’m going to take the plunge and get my life back.
Awesome! Let’s do this.
Together, of course. 💖