“When I was a little girl, living a life that I wasn’t good enough to be in, I used to hide away to feel safe and spent a lot of my time immersed in a world of books and fairytales. I dreamt of magic and wished so hard that I would find my own fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and give me a happy ever after.
Throughout my teenage years, I still hid away from the relative safety of the make-believe life in books. Unequipped to cope with my own reality I discovered that restricting food made real-life less real, feelings became numb and I stayed small and less visible which felt safer.
Many years passed in this way, hiding and restricting. Anorexia letting me exist but only just, not actually living life.
Bit by bit all hopes disappeared, replaced by fears and anxieties. Life held no appeal whatsoever. Existence seemed pointless.
I gave up the books and let the time tick by listening to podcasts- did anyone else feel like this?
It was on one podcast that I heard her.
She poured hope into my despair and ignited a tiny spark of “ what if?”
That “what if” became “ could I ?”
I stepped shakily into the unknown and reached out.
I was met with love!!!
Unconditional love, support and understanding.
This incredible woman believed in me! Me!
She saw a beautiful future that was mine for the taking.
I gave her my hope and trust.
Together we travelled the paths of my life, the twists and turns, the tears and fears.
I ate, and I cried.
I cried whilst I ate.
Heartbreak happened and feelings were freed.
Anorexia hung on but we said goodbye to it.
All the time she was with me, overflowing with loving compassion, she taught me how to live, just existing wasn’t an option anymore, but how to fully live in colour, with laughter and joy, happiness and love, peace and contentment.
She showed me that it was safe to be seen.
I’m overjoyed to say that I’m excited to experience all of the wonders and joys life has to offer.
Victoria you are my fairy godmother.
You have given me the gift of happiness ever after.
You are forever in my heart.
Thank you so much.”
I HAD to add this message in that Julia sent me too…
Good evening petal 🌸
Almost forgot to do this!
Is this the last time for me to do it anyway?
I know it’s the last call tomorrow.
Wins.
I’m going to do my overall wins for this journey with you.
I’ve gone from…
Barely existing, hating myself and my life so much that I wanted to and had put together a plan to end it.
Living in anorexia from childhood and all my adult life.
Having no idea how to deal with feelings and emotions except by numbing them with restriction.
Living in a body that was struggling to function due to lack of nourishment.
Believing I had no worth and was quite simply not good enough.
Being afraid to be seen.
To ….
Being fully nourished and having energy.
Waking up each morning excited for the day ahead.
Feeling all the feelings and allowing them to be there.
Having incredible relationships with my husband, family and friends.
Having fun and laughing all the time.
Actually wanting and really enjoying sex.
Loving others and receiving love fully.
Knowing that I’m worthy and good enough.
Feeling safe to be seen.
Struggles.
There have been many
So much fear if just about everything.
So many bowls of porridge that I’ve cried into.
Clothes that don’t fit anymore
A body that I didn’t recognise as mine.
Childhood trauma to be unpicked.
Limiting beliefs to undo.
Blocked memories that hurt so much as they came to light.
Through all of this you were by my side supporting me.
Listening without judgement.
Loving me whilst I cried.
Allowing me to fall apart whilst letting me know I was safe.
Holding space for me when I hid away in fear.
Pushing me gently and compassionately when that was what I needed.
Making my head spin 😵💫and suggesting using a gun 🔫when I needed it 😂
Victoria this is how much you have quite literally changed my life ❤️
You are the most incredible person I have ever had the honour to know.
I will be forever grateful to you and even though Thankyou isn’t enough I do Thankyou so so very much.
You are amazing 🤩🤩🤩
I love you so much ❤️❤️❤️
“When I was a little girl, living a life that I wasn’t good enough to be in, I used to hide away to feel safe and spent a lot of my time immersed in a world of books and fairytales. I dreamt of magic and wished so hard that I would find my own fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and give me a happy ever after.
Throughout my teenage years, I still hid away from the relative safety of the make-believe life in books. Unequipped to cope with my own reality I discovered that restricting food made real-life less real, feelings became numb and I stayed small and less visible which felt safer.
Many years passed in this way, hiding and restricting. Anorexia letting me exist but only just, not actually living life.
Bit by bit all hopes disappeared, replaced by fears and anxieties. Life held no appeal whatsoever. Existence seemed pointless.
I gave up the books and let the time tick by listening to podcasts- did anyone else feel like this?
It was on one podcast that I heard her.
She poured hope into my despair and ignited a tiny spark of “ what if?”
That “what if” became “ could I ?”
I stepped shakily into the unknown and reached out.
I was met with love!!!
Unconditional love, support and understanding.
This incredible woman believed in me! Me!
She saw a beautiful future that was mine for the taking.
I gave her my hope and trust.
Together we travelled the paths of my life, the twists and turns, the tears and fears.
I ate, and I cried.
I cried whilst I ate.
Heartbreak happened and feelings were freed.
Anorexia hung on but we said goodbye to it.
All the time she was with me, overflowing with loving compassion, she taught me how to live, just existing wasn’t an option anymore, but how to fully live in colour, with laughter and joy, happiness and love, peace and contentment.
She showed me that it was safe to be seen.
I’m overjoyed to say that I’m excited to experience all of the wonders and joys life has to offer.
Victoria you are my fairy godmother.
You have given me the gift of happiness ever after.
You are forever in my heart.
Thank you so much.”
I HAD to add this message in that Julia sent me too…
Good evening petal 🌸
Almost forgot to do this!
Is this the last time for me to do it anyway?
I know it’s the last call tomorrow.
Wins.
I’m going to do my overall wins for this journey with you.
I’ve gone from…
Barely existing, hating myself and my life so much that I wanted to and had put together a plan to end it.
Living in anorexia from childhood and all my adult life.
Having no idea how to deal with feelings and emotions except by numbing them with restriction.
Living in a body that was struggling to function due to lack of nourishment.
Believing I had no worth and was quite simply not good enough.
Being afraid to be seen.
To ….
Being fully nourished and having energy.
Waking up each morning excited for the day ahead.
Feeling all the feelings and allowing them to be there.
Having incredible relationships with my husband, family and friends.
Having fun and laughing all the time.
Actually wanting and really enjoying sex.
Loving others and receiving love fully.
Knowing that I’m worthy and good enough.
Feeling safe to be seen.
Struggles.
There have been many
So much fear if just about everything.
So many bowls of porridge that I’ve cried into.
Clothes that don’t fit anymore
A body that I didn’t recognise as mine.
Childhood trauma to be unpicked.
Limiting beliefs to undo.
Blocked memories that hurt so much as they came to light.
Through all of this you were by my side supporting me.
Listening without judgement.
Loving me whilst I cried.
Allowing me to fall apart whilst letting me know I was safe.
Holding space for me when I hid away in fear.
Pushing me gently and compassionately when that was what I needed.
Making my head spin 😵💫and suggesting using a gun 🔫when I needed it 😂
Victoria this is how much you have quite literally changed my life ❤️
You are the most incredible person I have ever had the honour to know.
I will be forever grateful to you and even though Thankyou isn’t enough I do Thankyou so so very much.
You are amazing 🤩🤩🤩
I love you so much ❤️❤️❤️
