How to do mirror work without turning it into body checking

Question from the lovely Dana. “How to do mirror work without it turning into unhelpful body checking?” 

What is body checking?

regularly body checking throughout the day, mirrors, car windows, shop windows etc

specific times such as before eating or after eating, before a night out etc

usually zooming in on a certain body part

only looking at yourself from a certain angle

Why do we do it?


reassurance – hoping it won’t be as bad

trying to control what others see via what we see – different mirror or lighting freaks you the fuck out – no control of how you see yourself and therefore how others see you

future tripping

habitual self-flagellating behaviour


How to stop

Why do you want to stop?

Awareness always comes first – count how many times in a day you currently do it

“NOPE”- walk away – stop the behaviour

ask WHY you’re even doing it -can you seek that elsewhere?

notice how you feel when you don’t do it

What is mirror work?

Time spent consciously in front of the mirror with the goal of deepening connection with self and feeling better afterwards to overcome body avoidance and body checking

How is it different to body checking?

Mirrorwork is conscious and birthed out of love not fear

Why do mirror work?

Improve body image

Body freedom

Body acceptance

Body love

to stop running, face yourself and overcome your greatest fears

feel your deepest hidden feelings

Get to really see yourself

act of self-love

deep spiritual work and personal development

deepening connection with self

improve self-confidence

live a way happier and more peaceful life – no longer fearful of photos or new mirrors etc

How to do mirror work?

  1. be ok with looking
  2. sit with the suck
  3. exposure therapy – shrugging – this what my body looks like today – dancing – journalling – seeing yourself at all times of day
  4. eye gazing – i love you – declarations – affirmation: I love myself unapologetically – declaration: I am love and I give and receive my own love to myself and others unapologetically.
  5. forgiveness ritual
  6. gratitude ritual
  7. compliment ritual – whatever you look for you will find
  8. sensual ritual – touching your body in a loving way Follow this Queen NOW
  9. sexual ritual – dress up for yourself – take photos – self-pleasure
  10. partner mirror work
  11. prepping yourself to wear a bikini / dress etc

What to do when you notice body checking creeping in

Body checking is the energy of anxiety and judgment


bring yourself back down to rest and digest

come back to acceptance and what you make it mean

The photos I was talking about 🤣



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