Question from the lovely Dana. “How to do mirror work without it turning into unhelpful body checking?”
What is body checking?
regularly body checking throughout the day, mirrors, car windows, shop windows etc
specific times such as before eating or after eating, before a night out etc
usually zooming in on a certain body part
only looking at yourself from a certain angle
Why do we do it?
reassurance – hoping it won’t be as bad
trying to control what others see via what we see – different mirror or lighting freaks you the fuck out – no control of how you see yourself and therefore how others see you
habitual self-flagellating behaviour
How to stop
Why do you want to stop?
Awareness always comes first – count how many times in a day you currently do it
“NOPE”- walk away – stop the behaviour
ask WHY you’re even doing it -can you seek that elsewhere?
notice how you feel when you don’t do it
What is mirror work?
Time spent consciously in front of the mirror with the goal of deepening connection with self and feeling better afterwards to overcome body avoidance and body checking
How is it different to body checking?
Mirrorwork is conscious and birthed out of love not fear
Why do mirror work?
Improve body image
to stop running, face yourself and overcome your greatest fears
feel your deepest hidden feelings
Get to really see yourself
act of self-love
deep spiritual work and personal development
deepening connection with self
live a way happier and more peaceful life – no longer fearful of photos or new mirrors etc
How to do mirror work?
- be ok with looking
- sit with the suck
- exposure therapy – shrugging – this what my body looks like today – dancing – journalling – seeing yourself at all times of day
- eye gazing – i love you – declarations – affirmation: I love myself unapologetically – declaration: I am love and I give and receive my own love to myself and others unapologetically.
- forgiveness ritual
- gratitude ritual
- compliment ritual – whatever you look for you will find
- sensual ritual – touching your body in a loving way Follow this Queen NOW –
- sexual ritual – dress up for yourself – take photos – self-pleasure
- partner mirror work
- prepping yourself to wear a bikini / dress etc
What to do when you notice body checking creeping in
Body checking is the energy of anxiety and judgment
bring yourself back down to rest and digest
come back to acceptance and what you make it mean
The photos I was talking about 🤣