How to Rewire Negative Body Image (and Why It’s Simpler Than You Think)
Let’s talk about something real.
If you’ve ever looked at your body and felt shame, disgust, fear…
If you’ve changed clothes five times before leaving the house…
If you’ve skipped a meal to “make up for” the one before…
You’re not broken. And your body is not the problem.
Your brain just learned a belief system that was never yours to begin with.
That’s the good news—and the work.
My chat with Tabitha Farrar
I recently sat down with the brilliant and fierce Tabitha Farrar, author of Fried Eggs and Thunder Thighs (yes, really—it’s genius). We talked all about negative body image—what causes it, why it sticks around even after eating disorder recovery, and how to finally retrain your brain to let it go.
Here’s what I want you to know from that conversation:
Your brain is always watching you
It’s learning from what you do, not what you say.
Every time you avoid wearing shorts because of your thighs, or you skip dessert because of guilt, you’re teaching your brain: “My body is a problem. This is unsafe.”
The same way a social media algorithm feeds you more of what you engage with, your brain feeds you more of the thoughts you act on.
But here’s the magic: that works in both directions.
When you start acting as if your body is safe, worthy, and enough—your brain learns that too.
It’s not about liking your body right away
It’s about behaving as if you do.
- Feel terrified in shorts? Wear them anyway.
- Feel shame after eating a meal? Keep going anyway.
- Want to hide? Show up anyway.
Your brain might scream at you. It might throw shame at you like confetti.
But your job isn’t to feel differently. Your job is to keep acting in alignment with the truth.
The feelings will catch up. They always do.
Journal prompts to begin the shift
If this speaks to you, grab a pen. These questions are powerful:
- What beliefs do I still carry about my body? Where did they come from?
- What small actions do I take that reinforce body shame?
- What would I do differently if I truly believed my body was safe and enough?
Answer honestly. There’s no shame here—just clarity.
And what about when people actually say something?
Yes. Sometimes people do make comments.
And it stings.
But as Tabitha said so brilliantly: what someone says is external. How we react is our choice.
You can’t control the garbage that might come out of someone’s mouth. But you can control whether you let it dictate how you show up in the world.
That is where the power is. That’s where freedom is.
Final thoughts (and an invitation)
Negative body image isn’t who you are. It’s something you learned.
And anything learned can be unlearned—with consistency, compassion, and courage.
Your body has never been the problem. It’s always been your teacher.
And if you’re doing this work—one action, one mirror, one moment at a time—I’m so proud of you.
We’re not here to shrink.
We’re here to take up space.
With love,
Victoria x
