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vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: We’re on. Hello, first this time. Hello. First everybody, because Julia sends me a link to join. She’s all organized. So yeah. Here we are again for a short 30 minute session today.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: a, a quickie.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: A quickie, so to say. Okay, let me dive in and this is gonna be really fun, Julia. So Helena says, it’ll be really wonderful if you and Julia could have a podcast where you play a role play dialogue, where one of you is the eating disorder and one of you is the healthy Self.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Bagsy be the eating disorder.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Oh, okay. With with each, you get to. Okay, so lemme give you my old self. Oh my God, I’m so laughing at my old self. She’s so cute. Oh my God. I’m eating chocolate again. This is so wrong. I’m gonna get so fat. This is not okay. What about my blood sugar? What about diabetes? Blah, blah, [00:01:00] blah, blah, blah. Oh, no, wait.

That’s easy. Disorder, isn’t it? I’ve just done the wrong way around.

Retake. Scrap that Julia again.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: You can’t eat that chocolate. You are gonna get so fat. It’s gonna go straight on your ass and your stomach, and no one’s gonna like you when you’re fat.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Okay. Healthy self. I know, sweetheart, that this feels really hard right now and really scary. However, what do you think will happen if you did gain weight? Is it absolutely true that nobody’s gonna like you if you get in your words fat?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: You know that

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: I.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: people get more friends. You know that thinner people are liked more. You know that society hates fat people.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: You probably have some fair points there. However, what do you want [00:02:00] most? Do you want freedom or are you here to try and fit into a mold, which is what you’ve been doing for however long and how’s that been going? Bit shit, really? You are not here to be normal. You’re here to be free. So what do you want most to perhaps get more social capital?

Let’s be honest, by staying thin, but what’s it costing you? Is that what you really want

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: But I keep you safe. I keep you protected. You’re in control.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: really though? Are you really in control or do you feel like you have to abide by the rules? Is that freedom? Is that control?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I got nothing now. Healthy self one.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: There we go. And this is a bit fake ’cause it’s fake.

Oh no, it’s, it’s the role.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I’m also saying things that I would never say.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: [00:03:00] Yeah. I know. It’s weird, isn’t it?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Okay.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Okay, let’s roll then. Let me give you a different one to what I was gonna say. Uh.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: On maybe on exercise or something.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Oh yeah, exercise one.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: I need to get an hour workout this morning no matter what. I don’t care if I’m tired. I don’t care if my body hurts. I don’t care if I’m busy. I need to do this exercise today.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I am feeling tired though, and as I have so many other things in the day, is it really fair to myself to push myself to do this exercise?

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, but I always feel better when I do, ’cause then I can eat more.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I’m allowed to eat whether I exercise or not, I.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Why?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Because I’m a human being and human beings are designed to eat,[00:04:00]

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, but what about if I get fat? Which it always goes down to, doesn’t it? It’s always a fear of weight gain.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: the people that I love and who love me will accept me regardless of my size.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Okay. What about everyone else who might judge me when they see if I’ve gained weight? I.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Then quite honestly, they’re not my people.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, and I’m just left with, hmm, I guess space to then choose.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, space to choose. So thank you Helena for that. That was quite fun. Although, actually harder than I thought. Right.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: was like, oh, that gotta be great and really easy. But it actually wasn’t, because I suppose we’ve done so much work on and it feels so unnatural to be so [00:05:00] unkind now,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: It does.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: is

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: It really does. That was harder than I.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: you think about it, because that critical negative voice used to. Be constant and basically the dialogue in my head all the time. And now it’s hard to access it.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I mean, that’s amazing, right?

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: yeah, absolutely. Amazing. I’m absolutely the same. Compassion all the way. Compassion for the win. And also going back to what, what do you want most? ’cause yeah. Excuse me. Society is fat phobic. Yeah. We’re sold that thin is good and fat is bad. Let’s, we’re not denying that. But it depends what you want most, doesn’t it for your life who, what you are living.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Absolutely.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah. Cool. Thanks Hannah. And I think, I think it’s easier for us to coach people around it than just pretend it’s all speaking to ourselves, like you say. ’cause we’re so far away from that now. It feels weird to go back to that.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah. [00:06:00] Um, okay, so Fur Recovery Buddies, I know your actual name sweetheart, but, oh, it is a cool name. Um, can you speak a little around some of the difficult physical symptoms?

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, well you can speak for edema in a moment ’cause you had that really bad for me’s. Physical symptoms being out of breath really easily. Then all of a sudden my eating sort will be like, oh my God, you’ve all of a sudden gone completely un unfair and you’re, and you’ve got no fitness left and all the years that you’ve done fitness are all wasted.

So I was out of breath a lot. I was bloated all the time, which was really hard because of course we’re recovering from an eating disorder where the feeling of fullness and being bigger in general is a big part of the recovery process. So just being bloated all the time. That was one of mine. Having constipation one minute and then diarrhea the next [00:07:00] minute, then constipation, then yeah, not really having any structure or flow.

A regular rhythm, none of that. Loads of spots and acne, oily skin, swollen ankles for me, sore joints, uh, grumpiness being angry with people. I guess that’s more of a, an emotional identity change, but still, yeah. What about you?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Um, before I say mine, I actually did. Two podcasts in a row on this, um, I think this episode 1 0 5 and 1 0 6. So that goes into it in detail and why it happens and actually going on in our bodies and everything. So if you want to know more, have a listen to those. Um, but I personally experienced horrendous edema. My whole body, I felt like, um, the Michelin man off of Ghostbusters, [00:08:00] you know, the, the state puff marshmallow, man, that was it. I felt like that.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I was so swollen everywhere it made moving really quite painful. Um, the exhaustion was just something else. It was like even just having a shower wiped me out. I was, just had to go and lie down after I’d had just, just a shower and that was it. I was so tired. Um, food went straight through me. I remember saying to you, what is the point in eating? Because my body’s not getting anything. It’s going straight through me. And I spend most of my day on the loo. Um.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: was horrible. I just didn’t even, not that I even wanted to leave the house because I felt, felt so self-conscious about my swollen body. Um, but I couldn’t leave the

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: because I [00:09:00] couldn’t leave the loo. And,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: what else is there? Oh, brain fog was horrendous. I couldn’t focus on anything and the sweat. The night sweats

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: mm.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I’ve eaten like about, I think it was like about half an hour after I eat, I just suddenly started pouring with sweat and I’d never sweated before in my life. Really, not even when I was doing all the exercise, did I sweat then all of a sudden it was just so much sweat and just general uncomfortableness of being in a body that felt different.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm. Yeah, a lot of physical, I mean, there’s a lot more emotional stuff that goes on, but also a lot of physical stuff. So hopefully this person has been reassured, perhaps, or. Gain knowledge if they weren’t looking for themselves. But yeah, check out Julie’s two [00:10:00] part episode about it in depth.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: into a lot in that one. So, yeah.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah. Cool. So this one I heard a dietician state. Oh, gimme my question. I heard a dietician state that people won’t change unless they have to, and that hit me if I wait till I have to. I may be waiting quite a while. I want to recover, but of course I’m terrified of gaining weight. What are your thoughts?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Okay. I also got that one, so that’s cool. Um,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Oh, cool.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: it’s. Of course you’re terrified of gaining weight. That’s part of the illness, you can still do it scared and keep checking in with yourself and saying Nothing bad has happened, because it’s the fear of doing it rather [00:11:00] than the actual reality. The reality of gaining weight is just that

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, that’s true.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: and nothing bad really happens. Um.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: about the fear of the fear. What do you think?

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: I think that, ’cause it’s easy for me ’cause I’ve got the question in front of me. People won’t change unless they have to. You never have to.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: No, you don’t.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: That’s the thing that’s more of like a victim mentality. You don’t have to do anything, but what do you want? So of course want you say you want to recover, but want and willing are two different things.

We want to be millionaires. Well, that’s an argument now because of what does that even mean? But in general, like we want things, but are we willing to do what it takes in order to get what we want? And that’s where this quote comes to mind. Uh, let me grasp it. Are you willing to leave behind the comfortable [00:12:00] hell to step into the uncomfortable heaven?

Because of course, you are afraid of gaining weight. That’s literally almost not quite, almost the root of the eating disorder. So recovery is working on that. So you then get over that fear. Fear, but the only way to get over the fear is to walk into the fear. So going back to the question, in short, people won’t change unless they have to.

And I know what the dietician was saying. I. But I always ref reflect back to, well, what do you want? Like, do you want to be 60 years old and still counting almonds and weighing peanut butter? Do you want to be 60 years old and like not daring to put a, a swimsuit on and go, go in the sea? Do you want to be on your deathbed and look back and wish you’d actually done something different?

Because I tell you this now, nothing’s gonna change. I thought when you get older it just got better because you don’t care ’cause you get older. No, it just gets worse because it’s more [00:13:00] ingrained in you.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: and you always have a choice. Choices can be quite shitty sometimes, but you

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: have a choice. So yes, you can wait until you absolutely hit rock bottom. And something forces you to do something, but it might just be the bare minimum keep going, or

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: make a choice

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: yeah,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: and you can do that at any point. But not changing is

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: yeah,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: a choice.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: yeah. Just it’s choosing not to change, so stop waiting for it to get so bad. Because eating disorder also tells you you’re not, no, there’s nothing wrong with you. Nah, nah, you’re not sick. Everyone else is worse. What you on about? No. If it’s affecting your life in a negative way, change it. And this is hopefully empowering this person to [00:14:00] understand that, okay, I get to choose to recover for me, I’m afraid, and let’s go anyway.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah, definitely.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yes.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: do I create a life bigger than my eating disorder? Bulimia has consumed my life for so long. I don’t know myself.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Oh, well, I’m glad she doesn’t know herself because that’s what, what she’s telling me through her words is the bulimia isn’t herself. Which is a positive. So how does she create a life bigger than the eating disorder? First of all, write down all the ways the eating disorder is costing you. How is it costing you right now?

Get really clear and black and white of what it’s costing you and stopping you from doing. And then ask yourself, do I want something different? I’m assuming yes. And then you start creating. You won’t, from the point where you are at now, you won’t be able to [00:15:00] think of or live now a life bigger than the eating disorder.

Because first of all, you have to make that be smaller in order for something else to be bigger in comparison. And the way you make it smaller is by recovering, well, obviously when you recovered, it’s not there anymore. It’s, it’s gone. So. Here. I would like to say have a vision. Allow yourself to get creative with no pressure.

Allow yourself to play, make believe like you did as a child. If you had a magic wand, what would you do in your life? How would your life be different? Just play here and just write down an imaginary life of like how life would be if you had a magic wand. Then start to think, okay, well how can I start to create that now?

And you will have to let go of the eating disorder in order to make space energetically, physically, spiritually, emotionally, for a bigger life so you don’t have a bigger life first. The bigger life happens as a result of [00:16:00] recovering from an eating disorder.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah, absolutely. Um, and I know that I found it really hard to imagine a life to think about what I wanted, ’cause I honestly didn’t know. But when you are making that list of what it’s costing you and what it’s taking away from you right there, the things it’s taking away from you some of the things you want. You can see that it’s, if it’s taking

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: the ability to go out to lunch with a friend, then you want to go out for a lunch with a friend

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: you can build the, the most basic things just from what it’s costing you.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: yeah. Ex exactly that. Yeah. The opposite to that is of course, what you want, but it’s, you’ve not got it because it’s, it’s stopping you. Beautiful way of looking at it. So you’ve already got your answer in the cost letter.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: The, the very basics of it. Yes. And

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: build from there.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: yeah, [00:17:00] yeah. Because I tell, I say this for all of all of us, the past versions of us who had an eating disorder, and those that currently are in recovery or that have an eating disorder, your eating disorder will guarantee be costing you three things, if not more.

Your self-expression of your true, authentic self. Receiving and giving love unconditionally and freedom.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Absolutely.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: So if it’s costing you your self expression, love and freedom, it can be changed. Then you create a life that has all of those things in and there’s no looking back then. ’cause you won’t wanna go back ever.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: no, and that’s even shown from the very opening of this call where we were like doing that role.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: so uncomfortable and so unfamiliar, just shows how much we couldn’t go back now because. That is the unfamiliar that’s [00:18:00] now out of our comfort zone.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Exactly that. And I, I personal share to add onto this sort of the same thing. Um, and I’ll usually share with you with a voice note, but I got interrupted in my voice note to you today, so I’ll share now. Um, and I, as you know and people that follow me, know, fitness has been a huge part of my life. Even after recovery.

I’ve always been into fitness, whatever that means to people, and I’ve been working out twice a week as much as I can with my new, well, she’s not a newborn anymore, she’s five months now, and my body still hurts a bit from birth. I’m still having a bit of issues with my back and my hip, and I’m like, yesterday I did a workout and I was like.

What am I doing? My body is clearly saying I don’t want to do this. And the past few weeks I’ve been doing it because I’ve been telling myself the story that I believe that it’s really good to continue this, to support my body, to support the strength in its healing, to, you know, to keep my fitness [00:19:00] levels up so I can be a healthy individual, not from eating disorder place, but just from a genuine.

I don’t know what word I’m looking for, a genuine place of like, I guess self-care. But when I really looked at it, my body was saying, you don’t want to do this. So as of like yesterday, I just decided I’m just not gonna work out. I’m just gonna do yoga instead and just allow my body to completely guide me, which I thought I was doing.

But actually I realized I wasn’t. And in that moment I had to have a little bit of a pep talk with myself, with compassion and say, sweetheart, your priorities have completely changed. Like you are a new mom. You’ve got a full-time business, you, one of your top values now is present. So you can’t be doing all the things all at the same time.

It’s like one thing at a time. You get to let this go. Self-care and self-love is actually choosing not to do this and just allow your body to guide you and take all the pressure off, and that just feels so good. But I had to bring my compassionate voice in extra turbo, compassionate. That enabled me to [00:20:00] allow myself to let that go and just take that pressure off, and that feels a lot better.

So I still need it in different times. Just not the eating disorder stuff anymore.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah. I’ve similar this week with people pleasing and.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Ah.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I have stuck to my boundaries and, and not people pleased, and it felt so uncomfortable and I needed to bring in the compassion I needed to bring in it’s okay. You, I. Have this boundary, you’re allowed to keep this boundary and however the other person reacts is up to them. Actually, they were absolutely fine and my

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: was created in my own head,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: but yes, compassion continues right through the rest of your life, I think.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: [00:21:00] Yeah. And that’s the way forward with everything. That’s the way to growth actually, I believe.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: also knowing that nobody’s got all their shit together.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: No, we haven’t got our shit together. We have got our shit together in terms of food and body. Else we wouldn’t be sat there teaching you how to do the same. But in life, I mean, no one will ever have their shit together.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: And that’s one thing that. I always thought when I was in the eating disorder that everyone else had their shit together, and it was me that was struggling, and it made me think that everyone else was doing better than me and

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: they’re not. We’re all just getting through this life the best way we can.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: We are. And we have to keep letting go in order to grow, letting go in order to grow. And it’s such a beautiful journey if we allow it to be.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Like you’ve said,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: [00:22:00] Yeah,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: everything will be okay if you are okay with everything.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: exactly. And the work is being okay with everything. And that’s freedom. That’s freedom. True freedom.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: is.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: And peace.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Okay. I think this, it’s not a question, it’s just a statement to ask us to speak to. I think this was from our lovely Sue in our dream team. I think pros and cons of recovery.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah, I bet it is. From seeing wow.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: So yeah, go. Pros and cons. Let’s start with cons, shall we?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: The unknown.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Let’s do a game where you say a word I say until we can’t go anymore.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: You are all with the games today.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: You up for that?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Can I still start with unknown?

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah. [00:23:00] Um, missing the feeling of the high when I used to binge.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: That is so more than a word. Okay.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, I meant a statement.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Okay. Um, fear of judgment.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Oh, weight gain. But the thing is, it’s not a con now, but it the place where someone’s asking pros and cons. I guess these are the cons that we’re stating like. Before you make the choice, right? I assume

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah. Um.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: we’ll go with that.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Slow metabolism, which again feeds into the fear of weight gain, doesn’t it? ’cause if

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: your metabolism will have slowed down, and then everything takes longer to heal. And [00:24:00] it’s also even more scary about gaining weight because you know your metabolism’s slow.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, I think we’re doing this wrong because I’m just looking at the pros and cons of recovery and I’m like recovery,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Okay.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: so let’s go with you and I living in freedom, self-expression and love. What are the cons that we’re experiencing now in recovery Land? Let’s go with that. Let’s start again. Scrap that.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: This is gonna be a great episode.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Oh, I know.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: okay. What’s a con of living in freedom? Um, um,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: The only one I can think of is the one I already shared, although. I guess I, I don’t really miss it, but I guess, I guess I do a little [00:25:00] bit. If I think about it, miss the high, the binge used to give me

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Okay. Yeah, I’ve got one actually. The needing to grieve the past version of yourself.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s a good one. And I’ve got another one. Although it doesn’t matter too much to me anymore, lack of connection with others because dieting and body image, negativity is all that people seem to talk about. So it can feel quite separate when you, with generalized people who are just trying to body shame and talk about how bad they were at the weekend.

’cause they had chocolate it.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yes, that’s, I think that’s a con, connection is a pro as well, because the connection you do have with people. Is deeper, more authentic, more honest, and so much more meaningful.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: [00:26:00] Absolutely. I can’t think of any more cons.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Um,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Can you?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: it’s a, its a pro and con is the uncovering and allowing yourself to feel all the feelings that you’ve pushed down over the years. So it’s hard. It is uncomfortable. It can be painful, but it’s also a pro because it’s releasing, it’s healing. It’s allowing yourself to let the past be in the past and live in the now.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, exactly that.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: something that you need to go through if you want to fully recover. So that’s kind of a con, but it’s also a pro because it’s, it’s part of what sets you free

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm, absolutely. Okay. Let’s play a one minute game of, of, of [00:27:00] words back and forth

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: the pro.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: of.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Oh, um, let’s just go there. Sex drive.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Freedom,

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Spontaneity

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: connection. True connection.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: receiving love

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm. Good one. Peace.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: presence.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: I. Hmm. Fulfillment.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Excitement.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Hmm hmm. What else? You’ve said love. You said spontaneity, freedom, self-expression, authentic [00:28:00] self-expression.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Self-acceptance.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yes, and we could go on forever. But those, I mean, how much easier is it to list the pros than to find

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: we were both a

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: a con?

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: to begin with on the cons, weren’t we? And that,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: and realistically, when you think about the cons we talked about. They are only because of the eating disorder.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yes. So there is none.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: I don’t think there is.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: There’s no.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: No, I don’t think there is because they all, the ones we said about are only there because of the eating disorder. I.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yeah, exactly that. So there are none and the, and the fears that you have, which might seem a con, you [00:29:00] heal them through facing them in recovery anyway.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: you said to me once and I was like, I do not believe a word of that, that you get excited when you find. Something that you are afraid of because it,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Oh, yes.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: to uncover more and grow more and become a higher version of yourself. I honestly just thought you were talking an absolute load of rubbish. And I was like, yeah, right, Victoria. it’s so true because now when something, when I’m really uncomfortable with something or I get fear about something, I’m like, okay, what’s going on? I. Ooh, what do I get to uncover? And it is exciting. It’s, it’s amazing that fear, which ruled my life every moment of every day now has become something that [00:30:00] it’s like almost a present.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yes. Exactly that. If you stay present with the unwrapping and know that on the other side of the unwrapping there’s gonna be growth and more peace and more surrender, it is a joy, dare I say, to face the fears and the triggers, what are coming up, because it’s like all goody what’s on. Got to go through the shit first.

But what’s on the other side of this? It’s only gonna be growth because we allow it to be, we receive the growth

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: And

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: and do the work, do the work.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: something

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: big

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: you’re

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: part.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: back from.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Yes. And that’s again, true freedom. If you’re not held back usually by ourselves, we hold ourselves back and blame it on other people and other situations and other things, but we have the power to change it.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Wow. That went too fast, that half an hour to, didn’t it? But we’re back soon [00:31:00] with an hour. But this was an extra. Quickie because otherwise it would’ve been too long before we recorded the other one. So

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: and I’m actually

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: keep sending in your questions.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: one.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Ah, you are. I was gonna suggest you one in person, but we’ve got other things to be doing together.

We’ll see how we feel. Maybe, maybe not, but yeah. Julie’s coming over here very shortly. In next month. It’s May to, it’s May today, next month.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: of this.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: This month. This month, yes. How exciting.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: weeks on Saturday?

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Exciting. Well, I wanna say we’ll post to our stories, but we probably won’t. ’cause when you even came here the other week, we didn’t even get one frigging photo.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: because we were just being together. Just not,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Exactly.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: about that.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: We were being in present.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: No, no, no. It was only till you went. I was like, we you even get a photo together to post on Instagram. Not, [00:32:00] not that we live for Instagram, but. Next time.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Right.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Alright, I’m on duty now.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Yeah,

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: I’m coming. I’m coming. I’m coming all. And thank you Lo as always for listening. Any questions, send them to me and Julia.

julia_2_05-01-2025_150310: Lots of love, everyone. Bye.

vic_1_05-01-2025_160310: Okay, you too, Julia. Bye.