How to Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway: Your Path to True Freedom
Fear. It’s the invisible force that holds so many of us back—especially in eating disorder recovery and body acceptance. It convinces us that we need control, that we must stay small (physically and metaphorically), and that change is too dangerous to attempt.
But what if I told you that fear isn’t actually the enemy? That it’s simply an outdated survival mechanism, trying (and failing) to keep you “safe”?
Understanding Fear: It’s Not a Stop Sign, It’s a Green Light
Fear makes us believe that something terrible will happen if we step outside of our comfort zone. But here’s the truth: the fear of something happening is always worse than the thing itself.
If you’ve ever struggled with fear of weight gain, fear of eating “unsafe” foods, or fear of losing control, ask yourself this:
What am I really afraid of?
If my fear came true, what would that actually mean?
And then what? And then what?
At the root of every fear is the belief that we won’t be able to cope. But the truth is, you can. You already have, countless times before. And every time you face fear and survive, you prove to yourself that it has no real power over you.
Your Brain is Wired to Keep You Stuck
Your brain is designed for survival. It wants to keep you alive, and the best way it knows how to do that is by repeating what has worked in the past. If you’ve restricted, over-exercised, or controlled your body in the past and survived, your brain assumes that’s the only way to stay safe.
This is why change feels so hard. Even if your eating disorder is making you miserable, your brain still sees it as the “safe” option because it’s familiar.
But here’s the good news: you are not your brain.
You can retrain it. You can rewrite the story.
The first step? Doing the opposite of what fear wants you to do.
How to Face Fear and Break Free
1️⃣ Name the Fear
Instead of running from fear, identify it. What are you actually afraid of? What’s underneath it? Often, fears around food and body image link back to deep-rooted fears of rejection, unworthiness, or lack of control. When you expose fear for what it really is, you take away its power.
2️⃣ Flip the Fear
Fear loves a “what if” spiral:
What if I gain weight and people judge me?
What if I eat too much and lose control?
What if I never stop eating?
Now, reframe it:
✅ What if I gain weight and life actually gets better?
✅ What if true control is actually found in letting go?
✅ What if trusting my body leads to balance over time?
Your brain will believe whatever you tell it—so tell it something empowering.
3️⃣ Make Fear Your Green Light
We’ve been conditioned to see fear as a stop sign. But what if fear was actually a signal to go?
If something scares you in recovery, it’s probably the exact thing you need to do to get free.
Afraid of eating more? Eat more.
Afraid of eating past fullness? Feel the fullness and sit with it.
Afraid of losing structure? Break it.
Fear is not a reason to stop—it’s proof you’re moving in the right direction.
4️⃣ Use the “What Would My Recovered Self Do?” Rule
Imagine your future self, fully free from food rules and body obsession. What would they do? Would they stress over calories? Would they say no to birthday cake? No.
Your job is to start acting like that person now. Take the recovered action first—your mind and body will catch up.
5️⃣ Remember: Fear Fades with Repetition
The first time you challenge fear, it feels like jumping off a cliff. The second time, a little less so. By the hundredth time, it’s just normal.
Your brain adjusts. But only if you keep doing the thing.
Journal Prompts to Break Through Fear
What is fear trying to protect me from? Do I actually need protection from it?
What would my recovered self do in this moment?
If I let go of control, what do I think will happen? Is that based on truth or just fear?
How has pushing through fear in other areas of life helped me grow? How could it do the same here?
Write a letter to fear. Let it know you hear it, but you’re choosing freedom anyway.
Final Thoughts: Fear is a Doorway, Walk Through It
Recovery is not about avoiding fear—it’s about stepping into it, every damn day. The things you’re most afraid of are the exact things that will set you free.
So, what if instead of running from fear, you ran towards it? What if you made fear your green light, not your red light?
Your future self is waiting on the other side. Keep going. You’ve got this.
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Much love,
Victoria
