Imagine diet culture, binge eating and perpetual self-loathing as that toxic partner that you just keep returning to because the first 2-4 weeks felt so good with its inspired hope, the potential for happiness and result-based “success”. Despite the buzz being short-lived, with this much potential, you just can’t let go! You spend the rest of the time trying to get that feeling back, ignoring all of the toxic traits of this partner and all of the unhelpful emotions that come with staying with them. This was me before I met with Victoria.

I had been “doing“ intuitive eating and “self-love “ practices for almost a year before I invested in myself by committing to this program. I met with Victoria on a fortnightly basis, connecting in-between sessions and I divulged my repeated, unhelpful patterns, my love for the binge and crisps and my subsequent guilt afterwards. I was always met with love, compassion and a new perspective which empowered me to take control of my freedom without blaming myself.

Here’s what I learned:

– everything I want and need is already mine.

– If I do not accept my feelings, in every and all states, they will show up as unhelpful actions and patterns that can hurt myself and others.

– Self-love is not loving every inch of your body from top to toe, all of the time. It is not pampering yourself into happiness and self-love. It is accepting yourself through those feelings of disappointment, self-judgement and even hatred. It is looking in the mirror and saying “I don’t like this about myself today and that’s okay“ and then moving on with your day exactly as you would if you absolutely loved yourself that day.

– I learned by finding peace in my day, I didn’t need to find peace at night through binge eating.

Lastly, I learnt that I am ok, actually, I am fabulous and I deserve to experience the sensations of everything I feel and I want to feel and experience them. There isn’t a single part of me that is wrong or unworthy, not the judgy side, not the moody side and not the guilty side of me. I don’t need to punish myself anymore for not being perfect and for this knowledge and for this newfound power, I’ll be forever grateful to Victoria Kleinsman.

So, thank you Victoria. I love you. <3

Victoria
facebook.com/vminney