Alright, let’s talk about one of the most common pushbacks I get whenever the topic of body acceptance comes up—people throwing the “health” card in my face.
You know the type:
“How am I supposed to love this body that’s clearly too fat to be healthy?”
Or, the more aggressive version:
“Why are you pushing body acceptance when people are seriously overweight and unhealthy? Aren’t you just promoting obesity?”
I hear it all the time. It’s almost like people think that hating their bodies will somehow motivate them into being “healthy.” But spoiler alert—it doesn’t work like that. If shaming yourself into thinness worked, there wouldn’t be a multi-billion dollar diet industry profiting off our insecurities. So, let’s break this down and get into the truth behind the whole “health” excuse.
The Truth About Hating Yourself “Healthy”
First things first: hating on yourself does not make you thinner. And even if it did, the real question is, at what cost? Self-judgment, shame, and guilt are toxic emotions that lead to self-sabotage—not self-care. In fact, research shows that self-criticism and body shame often lead to more weight gain because they drive us to comfort-eat, binge, or restrict and then binge even harder.
So, here’s my first comeback to anyone who’s convinced that hating their body is somehow a path to health: if that were true, wouldn’t it have worked by now? If self-loathing could cure our health problems, none of us would be in this mess. But clearly, hating yourself doesn’t fix anything—it just makes things worse.
Why Is Poor Health a License for Shame?
Let me ask you this: in what world does being “unhealthy” give people the right to treat others (or themselves) like garbage? Where does it make sense to use poor health as an excuse for shame, judgment, and discrimination?
Seriously, why do we think someone’s health status should determine how much love, respect, or kindness they deserve? We’ve been conditioned to believe that only “healthy” bodies are worthy bodies. But let me be very clear: your health does not define your worth.
There are countless reasons why someone might have health challenges—genetics, chronic illness, disabilities, mental health issues—the list goes on. And yet, we’re living in a world where more than half of women would rather be hit by a bus than be overweight. This isn’t about health. It’s about fatphobia. It’s about a cultural bias that shames people for not fitting into a narrow, unrealistic ideal of what a “good” body should look like.
The Science Behind Weight and Health
Now, let’s get to the nitty-gritty of it—the science.
Contrary to popular belief, fat itself isn’t necessarily the root cause of health issues like diabetes, heart disease, or high blood pressure. The problem is that fat has been unfairly demonised because it’s often linked to these conditions. But just because something is linked doesn’t mean it’s the cause.
Let’s break this down with an analogy:
People with lung cancer often have yellow teeth. But do yellow teeth cause lung cancer? No. Smoking is what increases the risk of both. Similarly, people with diabetes often have more body fat, but body fat itself isn’t causing the diabetes. The real issue is poor blood sugar management, not the fat cells.
As health researcher Lindo Bacon puts in the book, “Body Respect,” telling someone to lose weight to manage their diabetes is like telling them to whiten their teeth to cure lung cancer. It completely misses the point.
You see, losing weight doesn’t necessarily fix the underlying health issues. Liposuction, for example, won’t cure your diabetes because it doesn’t address what’s really going on with your blood sugar. The focus on weight is a distraction from the real cause of the problem, and it’s keeping people stuck in the cycle of dieting, restriction, and guilt.
Why Diets Don’t Work (and Make Things Worse)
Let’s get real about diets for a second. We know the statistics—diets fail 95% of the time. Not only do they not work, but they also set you up for long-term weight gain, binge-eating, and a seriously messed-up relationship with food.
If diets were the answer, we wouldn’t have an obesity epidemic. Instead, what we have is a culture that encourages people to yo-yo diet, starve themselves, and feel like failures when the inevitable rebound weight gain happens.
So, what’s the alternative? If you’re worried about your health, here’s a radical thought: focus on your health, not your weight.
Start by listening to your body and giving it what it actually needs—whether that’s more movement, better sleep, managing stress, or simply eating more mindfully. You can work on improving your blood sugar, cholesterol, and overall well-being without ever stepping on a scale. Because at the end of the day, weight loss is not the only (or best) marker of health.
What Really Boosts Health?
If your concern is genuinely about health, here’s what I suggest: ditch the obsession with your weight and start focusing on health-promoting behaviours.
Here are a few examples:
- Eat in a way that nourishes your body and mind—meaning food that feels good to eat, gives you energy, and leaves you satisfied, not deprived.
- Move your body in ways that feel joyful and fun, not as punishment for what you ate last night.
- Get enough sleep, manage stress, and take care of your mental health.
Notice how none of these are directly tied to losing weight? That’s because weight is not the ultimate indicator of health. You can pursue health without being fixated on the number on the scale. And honestly, when you stop obsessing over weight, you’ll probably find that it’s easier to make choices that genuinely support your well-being.
Enough With the Excuses for Body Shame
Let’s stop using “health” as an excuse for body shaming. It’s not helping anyone.
If the goal is truly to improve health, then it’s time to change the conversation. Health is about so much more than just weight—it’s about how you feel, how you take care of yourself, and how you show up in the world. And let’s not forget, mental and emotional health are just as important as physical health.
You don’t need to lose weight to be healthy, and you definitely don’t need to hate your body to get there.
So, next time someone throws the “health” card at you when you talk about body acceptance, remind them that health is more than a dress size. And remind yourself that you deserve love, respect, and care—no matter what your body looks like.
Now, I want you to ask yourself:
- Why do I believe that I need to lose weight to be healthy?
- What would happen if I focused on my health without worrying about my weight?
- How would it feel to truly accept my body as it is, right now, and make choices that support my well-being from a place of love, not fear?
These are the real questions. And once you start exploring them, you’ll realise that health has never been about hating your body. It’s about loving it enough to take care of it in ways that feel good, sustainable, and kind.
You deserve that. We all do.
Self-Reflection Journal Prompts on Health & Body Image
- What messages did I receive about weight and health growing up? Where did they come from (family, media, doctors, peers), and how have they shaped my beliefs about my body?
- When I think about health, what comes to mind first? Is it a number on the scale, a feeling, or something else? Why do I define it that way?
- Have I ever believed that hating my body would help me change it? If so, how has that impacted my self-worth and actions?
- What emotions come up when I imagine fully accepting my body as it is right now? Fear? Relief? Resistance? Explore where these emotions come from.
Detangling Health from Weight
- What are some ways I’ve focused on weight rather than true health in the past? How did those choices make me feel—physically, mentally, and emotionally?
- If I could never weigh myself again, how would I measure my health? What signs or signals would I look for in my body?
- What small, weight-neutral actions can I take today to support my overall well-being? (E.g., better sleep, stress management, joyful movement, mindful eating)
Overcoming Shame & Cultivating Self-Compassion
- Have I ever judged myself (or others) based on body size? What would it look like to unlearn that judgment?
- How would I treat my body differently if I believed it was worthy of love and respect exactly as it is? What would change in my daily habits, thoughts, or actions?
- Write a letter to your body as if it were a dear friend. What would you want to say to it? Apologise for? Thank it for?
Challenging Cultural Conditioning
- Where in my life do I see fatphobia showing up? (e.g., media, workplace, social settings, personal relationships) How can I challenge these biases in a constructive way?
- If society never taught me that weight was an indicator of health, how would I approach self-care differently?
Taking Empowered Action
- What is one belief about weight and health that I’m ready to challenge? How can I start shifting that belief?
- What does true self-care look like for me? (Not punishment, restriction, or control—actual care)
- What is one loving action I can take today to honour my body without trying to change it?
