And I’m here to show you what freedom tastes like. From someone who knows every flavour of rock bottom.
High-achieving busy women who usually smash their goals in all areas of life. If they were to be called average, it would be the biggest insult of all. They are perfectionists and won’t settle for anything less. If they decide to commit to something, they go all in and they’re in it to win it; otherwise, what’s the point?
Others see them as extremists and often use words such as obsessed and addicted to describe their passion and commitment for things.
I often work with women in professional careers who carry so much inner shame around their eating disorders and are experts at putting on a mask for the world.
An overachiever, but perhaps might not think you are, because nothing you do is ever quite good enough. You’re hard on yourself, and you’re your own worst critic because everything needs to be perfect, especially your food choices and your body. You’re a black-or-white thinker, and there is no in-between.
You’re either stuck in the hell hole of restriction and can’t get out, or you’re going through hellish cycles of restricting, bingeing and purging or bingeing.
If you’re in the restraints of anorexia or orthorexia, you’re paralysed by food in general, and your entire life revolves around restriction, exercise compulsion and OCD. You’re living in constant anxiety and fear.
If you’re in the restrict-binge-purge cycle, you “fall off the wagon” and find yourself knee-deep in chocolate. You go into “fuck it” mode, eating all the foods that you’ve previously banned to excess. You can’t stop when you’re full, and you practically force-feed yourself knowing that you’re going to be starting another diet again on Monday, so you must get it all in now! (I call this last supper syndrome.) You might make yourself sick or take laxatives in an attempt to “clean out” the “wrong” you feel you’ve just done. You might exercise to excess the next day to try to “compensate”.
You feel shit about yourself for doing this over and over and over again. When you make a promise to yourself that you’re going to stick to it this time, you mean it with every cell of your being… until those cravings hit you like a ton of bricks and you cave in again. The more diets you go on and fail, the less you trust yourself to stick to anything. You seem to have completely lost your ability to diet.
Victoria Kleinsman
You feel like a big fat failure. You can’t stand the way you look… the size of your legs, tummy, arms, bum, face – fill in the blank. You feel unhealthy and shitty in your body, and you just want to get rid of these god-awful feelings of despair, failure and self-loathing. At the same time, you don’t feel worthy of getting rid of those feelings and can’t even imagine what self-love could possibly feel like.
You’re constantly comparing yourself to other women who are slimmer, funnier, leaner, fitter, smarter, prettier, whatever-er than you, and you can’t stop. You can’t watch a movie without feeling raging jealousy towards the woman with the perfect body. You feel so inadequate.
If you’re in the restrict-binge-purge (or no purge) cycle, you know that all you need to do is to just STICK TO A DIET like you’ve managed to do countless times before. You wonder why you can’t just conjure up enough willpower this time. You feel like there’s something wrong with you.
If you’re in anorexia or orthorexia, you know you just need to climb out of the hell hole of restriction and OCD and face your food fears. You know you need to eat and rest in order to recover and to thrive in life, not just barely survive. You feel like there’s something wrong with you because no matter how many times you tell yourself, “I’ll start tomorrow”, tomorrow never comes.
*Spoiler alert: there’s nothing wrong with you, you just think there is. But I get it. I’ve been there. There’s a way out, I promise.
If you want to stop being consumed by constant thoughts of food and your body, then apply to work with me. It will be the best decision you’ve ever made, and I don’t say that lightly.
(I work with teenagers too… as long as the person wants to recover, I can help!)
Victoria Kleinsman
Working with me will be one of the best decisions you’ll ever make, and I don’t say that lightly.
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Tough Love Coach Specialising in Food Freedom & Self-Love.