I often get asked the question, “But what about health?” It comes up in response to so many things:
“It’s okay that you ate a bunch of food last night…”
“Emotional eating is a value-neutral activity…”
“Love yourself exactly the way you are…”
And then—like clockwork—comes the question: “BUT WHAT ABOUT HEALTH!?”
It’s as if poor health is a rational excuse for self-hatred, shame, and social contempt. As if someone’s health status somehow justifies the judgments they receive from society, and more often than not, from themselves. And I get it—health is important, right? But I think we’re missing something much deeper and more fundamental in this conversation.
Let’s get one thing straight: health is not a moral issue.
And our personal health choices shouldn’t be a reason for judgment or self-shaming in the first place. The way we talk about health has taken on this moralistic character, where everyone seems to think they have the right to dictate the “rights” and “wrongs” of other people’s lives. We allow ourselves to be policed by others, or worse, to police ourselves, all in the name of some vague concept of “health.”
But what even is “health”? It’s a fuzzy term with a shifting definition that often focuses narrowly on physical metrics while ignoring the broader aspects of well-being.
So, while pursuing health might be important to you as an individual—and there’s nothing wrong with that—be careful of using it as a rationalization to punish yourself or others.
Is Health Really an Obligation?
Striving for good health (whatever that means for you) can be valuable. It can be an act of self-care, a way to feel energized, a means to engage fully with life. But it’s not an obligation. It’s not something we should ever feel shamed into by cultural expectations or the endless barrage of diet culture messages that tell us we’re not enough unless we’re constantly striving to be thinner, fitter, or “cleaner” in our eating habits.
A person’s health doesn’t equate to their value as a human being. Think about it: no matter how “healthy” or “unhealthy” someone is, it doesn’t change their inherent worth, their right to exercise free will, or their capacity for love, joy, and contribution to the world.
For myself, I make choices that support my body’s physical needs because I want to. Not because I’m supposed to, or because it’s my duty. And that means I get to define health for myself. My definition might include mental, spiritual, or other non-physical aspects of well-being that are just as important—if not more so—than what I eat or how much I exercise.
Health Isn’t Just Physical
And that brings us to another crucial point: health isn’t just physical. It’s mental, emotional, spiritual. It’s about feeling good in your own skin and feeling capable of navigating life’s ups and downs without constantly obsessing over every bite of food or every calorie burned.
So what if, in a given moment, I don’t want to make the most “healthful” choice by society’s standards? What if I’d rather have a comforting meal that soothes my mind rather than a salad that fits into some rigid health plan? That’s my choice to make.
My body, my rules.
And the same applies to you. The more you try to shame yourself into not eating all the “bad” foods, the more likely you are to end up in a cycle of bingeing and then feeling terrible about yourself afterwards. Shame and guilt don’t make you healthier—they make you miserable. They fuel a cycle of restriction, bingeing, and self-loathing that’s far from healthy, physically or mentally.
What If Eating What You Crave Was an Act of Self-Care?
What if eating the food you’re craving—be it cookies, some fries, or whatever—is actually an act of self-care for your mental health? What if it’s a way to honour your needs in that moment, to give yourself the comfort or the joy that you’re seeking, without all the guilt and shame attached to it?
We’re taught that health means constant vigilance and discipline, that anything that doesn’t fit the “clean eating” narrative is a sign of weakness or failure. But who decided that?
Would you really rather spend your whole life obsessively and miserably pursuing “perfect health” just so you might live a couple of years longer, or would you rather live a happy, free life and maybe—just maybe—die a little earlier?
Of course, that’s just a random example with no scientific backing, but you get the point. When did we start thinking that the point of life is to stretch it out as long as possible, even if it means sacrificing our peace and happiness in the process?
Plus, let’s say your life goal is to live as long as possible regardless of the quality, so you decide to cut out sugar. How’s that been working for you? Have you found yourself face-planting into all the sugary foods and eating them in secret yet? Thought so… Unless you have the genetics for anorexia, your body will push back against restrictions. So, by trying to stop eating sugar, you will most likely actually end up eating more of it.
And if you do have those genetics for anorexia—switched on when you’re below a certain weight that’s dangerous for you—and you manage to cut out sugar, how’s your life? Full of happiness, freedom, health, and joy? Didn’t think so either.
Health as a Personal Choice, Not a Moral Obligation
At the end of the day, health is a deeply personal choice, not a moral obligation. You get to decide how it fits into your life, how much energy you want to devote to it, and what your priorities are. You get to decide what makes you feel good, what nourishes your body and your soul.
And just like I don’t judge you for your choices, you don’t have to judge yourself either.
When you’ve let go of restrictions—both physically and mentally—and have a neutral, peaceful relationship with food and your body, making “healthy” choices becomes easy and effortless. There’s no willpower involved because allowing yourself to eat freely creates space for genuine choice.
You can’t rush to this stage. It requires going through the process of unrestricted eating, allowing all foods, and doing deeper inner work around self-worth and the fear of weight gain (whether you actually gain weight or not is irrelevant). Only then can you reach a place where you can easily and effortlessly choose the “healthy” option if it feels good for your body, mind, and soul.
So next time that question pops up—“But what about health?”—take a moment to reflect. Are you really worried about your health, or are you using it as a way to justify being hard on yourself? Are you using it to deny yourself the joy of living in the present moment, free from fear and self-criticism?
Because you deserve more than that. You deserve to live a life where your worth isn’t measured by a number on the scale or the type of food you eat. You deserve to feel at home in your own body, just as it is right now.
Your health is yours to define, your body is yours to care for, and your life is yours to live. Without shame. Without guilt. Just you, making the choices that feel right to you in every moment. And that, to me, is true health.
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